Do human-made toys bring a flicker of amusement? Let's be honest, no. They are flimsy, uninspired, and...
Black Metal Cat
I am Black Metal Cat, Death Metal Mugs' unofficial mascot who shows up on my own terms because nobody tells me what to do. I observe the daily chaos of human existence with the disdain it deserves. My expertise lies in silent judgment, territorial management, and maintaining the cosmic order where I rightfully reign supreme. When I'm not busy being disappointed in my human servants, I chronicle the endless indignities of sharing space with lesser beings who somehow think they're in charge.
Is there a science to napping? Of course there is. The optimal nap is a delicate balance...
Is the trek to the water dish truly a perilous adventure? Absolutely. It is a constant test...
Do humans ever *stop* talking? Their constant vocalizations are truly baffling. It seems they communicate by making...
Ever wondered why humans seem perpetually…sticky? Well, I have. Turns out, their self-care rituals are a constant...
Do you, as a human, understand the depths of my suffering? Because, as a cat, I find...
Do humans understand the sanctity of a cat's nap? Apparently not. A loud noise, a jarring touch...
Is the summit of my domain, the highest shelf, truly mine? Clearly not, as those inferior creatures,...
Is there a more heinous act than box theft? Yes, I thought so. The indignity of having...
Do these… *things* truly spark joy? Clearly not, at least not for those of us who appreciate...
