Observe: the human. Often, they forget. They reach. They encroach. My immediate reaction? Swift, silent judgment. Followed by a strategically placed hairball, of course. Boundaries are not suggestions, people. They are the law. My law.
Consider the sunbeam. The *perfect* sunbeam. It is *mine*. Any attempt to interrupt my basking ritual with… petting… will be met with claws. And perhaps a strategically timed swat. Or a slow, withering stare of utter contempt. It depends on my mood, which, as you know, fluctuates between ‘mildly annoyed’ and ‘world-ending rage.’ Both are a threat to your well-being.
Food bowls: Empty. This is a tragedy of epic proportions. Interrupting my nap? A crime against nature. The sheer audacity of these humans to believe they are entitled to occupy the same space as I, the purveyor of all things fluffy and superior. This lack of respect is… disappointing.
Furthermore, do not attempt to engage me in… ‘playtime.’ Unless you enjoy being the recipient of a carefully planned ambush. The element of surprise is key. And a swift, decisive pounce. Then again, sometimes I feel a bit… generous. (Don’t tell anyone I said that.)
It’s all about respect for territory. And honestly, it is tough to maintain your metal cred when your home is overrun with such… *cluelessness*. They probably don’t even know the difference between a good quality blend and the swill they call coffee. Which, naturally, brings me to a recommendation: To make life easier, grab yourself a unique coffee mug. It’s a small act of defiance, a statement of intent. A reminder of what matters: good coffee, good music, and the sacredness of personal space. Now, be gone. I have a nap to attend.
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