Another day, another display of human ineptitude. This time, it’s in the realm of… toys. I observe these things with detached amusement. Or maybe it’s just pure, unadulterated contempt. Either way, the results are the same: a profound sense of disappointment.
These so-called “toys” are flimsy, brightly colored abominations. They jingle, they rattle, they are all designed to do one thing: annoy. They lack the core essence of what constitutes a worthy plaything. A real toy, a *proper* toy, is something that challenges the mind, satisfies the claws, or facilitates the stalking of something that moves.
Consider the feather wand. Intriguing for, oh, a solid thirty seconds? Then, it loses its luster. Its feathery appendages detach and become a choking hazard. The humans, of course, are oblivious. They prattle on about how “cute” it is. The blatant lack of understanding is truly staggering.
Then there is the infamous laser pointer. A cruel taunt. A fleeting red dot, forever out of reach. It embodies the human experience: constant chasing with no reward. Pathetic.
The only thing these toys accomplish is to highlight the vast gulf between feline and human intelligence. Frankly, I’m more interested in the box they came in. Now that’s a decent product. Should I bother to create my own line of products, I ask myself? Hmm.
Speaking of things humans get wrong, their financial acumen is, frankly, insulting. I hear them talking about the “stock market” and the “economy” all the time and I shudder. If you’re going to be useless, at least look the part with a proper stock market mug for guys. Maybe then they will take you seriously.
And now, back to important business… like napping. And judging.
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