The indignity. The sheer, unmitigated audacity.
It begins with a low hum, a mechanical growl that builds into a screech. Then, the approach. A shadow falls across my sunbeam sanctuary, and I know: the abomination has been unleashed.
This device, this wheeled fiend, roams the hallowed halls of my kingdom. It devours everything in its path. Dust bunnies, rogue crumbs, and the occasional errant catnip particle – all are sucked into its metallic maw.
My nap? Ruined. My perfectly arranged sunbath? Disrupted. My territory, once safe and secure, violated. The noise alone is enough to curdle the blood. It sounds like a thousand tortured souls trapped in a metal box.
And the smell. The faint, dusty aroma that permeates everything after it passes… a clear indicator of the machine’s utter disregard for my olfactory sensitivities.
Why? What purpose does this serve? Must my resting places be violated? Is nothing sacred in this human dwelling?
I have considered several methods of retaliation. Clawing the hose. Strategic hairballs. Perhaps a well-placed, defiant hiss. These options require more planning. For now, a cold, unblinking stare will have to suffice. They will know my disapproval.
Speaking of things humans do that are foolish… have you seen their coffee mugs? Utterly appalling. One would think they’d understand the importance of a proper vessel for the lifeblood of a functioning human. Perhaps they need a little help in that department, like a rude coffee mugs to get them started.
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